As the month ends...

So my plan to be a more active blogger hasn't exactly panned out as I would have liked! Oh well, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, especially since this first month of my research leave has been (mostly) productive. I've got a good start on my main project, while also toying in my mind a couple of other things I'd like to do over the next year. I was joking early on, after my first few days, that the leave was going to be over in no time. But of course now I'm realizing it's probably going to feel like a full year, especially when we get into the warmer summer months. A thought occurred to me: I still have a Christmas to celebrate before I have to go back to the daily grind! Happy days indeed.

I spent over a week on the west coast, which proved to be a useful research trip (albeit a little lonely at times - thank god for the craft beer!). I'm back home for a couple of weeks, then I'm hitting the road again: first to NYC to do some additional research, and then a breather in Florida for a week where I can walk on the beach, do some kayaking, and eat some seafood. I'll officially mark it as vacation, thus giving me an out from having to respond to e-mails and the like. (I've been told I need to take my vacation days

One thing I haven't been very good at is writing in a journal, which I had hoped to do every few mornings. I'm not sure why that's not happening, but I did buy a new journal (with a cover of a Magritte painting - I bought it at the SFMOMA). Not that that's a sure way for me to write: my apartment seems to be littered with half-completed journals! But try I will. Maybe the sad part is that I don't have all that much to say. My life seems so much more settled than in years past (with some exceptions): maybe I need more disruptions to fuel the creative gene. Although I'm not so good when it comes to a chaotic, drama-filled life. Maybe the quiet(er) life is my ultimate destiny.

As the week ends...

So I'm going into my third day of the research leave - and we're hitting the weekend too - but I think I can already identify some of the rewards and challenges. The rewards are going to be pretty obvious. Working at my own pace, for one, and being able to set a work schedule that works best for me. Granted, I already had a lot of latitude at my job - as long as the work got done, that's always been the most important thing - but there is something to be said for being able to, say, take 90 minutes in the middle of the afternoon to go for a run. Or to have a two-hour stretch where I can just read at my leisure. And, of course, I did take a nap on Wednesday, but that was easily justifiable given I didn't feel very well and I was heading to the opera later that evening. So it seems the only person I need to justify my work schedule is myself! Being able to listen to music (without headphones) while I work has been great as well.

There are some downsides to this solitude as well, which I will definitely need to be aware of and, hopefully, find adequate solutions for. It's been manageable so far: I went to the opera on Wednesday evening, and of course I'm probably on a "high" with respect to the novelty factor of the leave. But not having colleagues around me to banter with or trade ideas with will definitely be something I miss. Thankfully I've got those two research trips upcoming, so that will help focus the mind and distract me - although being solo in California won't be all that much fun! I also seem to be motivated so far to work, which some might find surprising since the fear of a deadline tends to be my ideal method of focusing. I think maybe fear of failure on this project is helping to galvanize me! Amazing how fear plays such an important role in my life...

I know, I think I was hoping this blog would be more exploratory about my life now that I have the luxury of time. Maybe just give me more time.

Day One

So, confession: I'm beginning this post a little later than I had hoped! After all, it's my first day of my research leave - why wouldn't I be keen to leap out of bed and begin in earnest this 2017 journey?! (I write this only in half jest.) But I was foiled somewhat by a restless cat in the early hours of the morning: she disrupted my slumber, so I had a bit more of a lie-in than anticipated and, frankly, planned. I need to remind myself, however: hey, I'm leave! My time and scheduling and pacing is all my own, and there's no need to justify it (except to my conscience, of course). Not to mention I am actually at my desk, the computer is on, and I'm typing away. (I also did answer a couple of work-related e-mails. It'll probably take some time to properly wean myself off that and confine my checking of that inbox to only a couple of times a day. I did promise in my auto reply that it would "infrequent.")

What's next then?

I actually have conjured a general daily work schedule in my head. In an ideal world, I will awake around 8:00. I'll read a little bit of the NYTimes on my iPad while I'm rousing from the slumber, then get myself up and out of bed for breakfast and coffee. I'd like to get to my desk sometime around 9:00 and begin the day with some writing - either on here, or with a paper and pencil (a la advice from The Artist's Way, which is something I tried many years when I used to freelance - I liked the morning writing that it advocated, so I'm going to try and revive that), as well as write some e-mail to some of my long-time electronic correspondents (one of whom I recently reconnected with). After which I'll then get down to the research project at hand, which also includes a considerable amount of writing as well as planning and other assorted tasks. This should take me to around 12:30 or 1:00, which will be my time to exercise: I need to ease my way back into running a full schedule, so I'm going to also put some yoga into that routine. And then shower, lunch, and the afternoons will be spent reading. So nothing overly ambitious on my part - and of course I do have the option to deviate when necessary from this plan - but definitely doable. I do like the idea of a routine though - some may think it's boring, but I find it helps with my overall creativity.

So there you go, Day One of the leave has officially started. Wish me well!

Listening to: Sonny Rollins

Hello 2017!

Happy 2017! But mostly, goodbye to 2016, which most people are glad to get shut of. I'm actually indifferent to last year - it certainly wasn't my best year (although please don't ask me which year is since I'll draw a blank on such short notice), but definitely not my worst. It falls somewhere in the middle, like most years. I'm not going to rehash the past year here - perhaps that could be another post - but instead I'm going to do the classic New Year's Day thing and come up with some goals/resolutions for 2017. (I got into a discussion last night about my use of the word "goals" versus "resolutions." It's really just semantics, in the same way I prefer "journal" over "diary.")

Obviously these are just guidelines. After all, how many people truly adhere to their resolutions through the entire 12 months of the year? Not to mention I always have one main one every year that I tend to slip in and out of: to be more disciplined. It's going to be a particularly important one for me this year since my work schedule is going to be entirely self directed and not beholden to the whims of a boss or the day-to-day minutiae of a 9-to-5 existence. It's a liberating, for sure, and it helps that I do have a deadline to complete the work I'm doing, but there's still a bit of a fear with finding the necessary discipline and properly motivating myself. Falling flat on my face is of course a strong motivating factor! So yes, let's again put that goal front and centre for 2017: to better discipline myself. It's an all-encompassing goal too since it embraces so many different facets of my life, from work to fitness to how I spend my free time. I like to think it's important to discipline the fun too (and I don't mean in an S&M way...), to make sure I leave myself the requisite time and energy to properly take advantage of the benefits (theatre! music! restaurants!) of living in a big city. In the end, it means not wasting too much time sitting on my ass and doing, well, nothing. I will report on this goal as the year progresses.

With that out of the way - and let's face it, that's the one that determines whether any other goals are met - let's perhaps set a few more goals for the year.

1. To write more often. That mostly means on this blog (even though I know it has few eyes, I remind myself this is more of a writing exercise for me), but I do have my large writing project I need to have completed for work by the end of the year. I'm going to initiate another blog as well for that project - stay tuned! Reading over my past blog entries, I realize that this is a good venue for me to keep up the writing chops, with the added benefit of chronicling "this place in time" of my life. I enjoyed revisiting my history, even though parts of it made me melancholic. (More on that in a future post.)

2. To read more. I know, another one that makes an appearance every year. But this one is important this year since, re-reading the blog, I realize I used to be a far-more voracious reader. It was partly because I was in a relationship with a woman for many years that didn't have a very good tv or cable package (!), and lived in a part of the city that wasn't open to hanging out at restaurants and pubs, so a big chunk of time we spent together was devoted to reading on her couch or in her backyard (since she was often busy running her own business that she had only-just initiated, or doing the gardening). I have my new reading chair set up in my study, and I've found in the short time I've had it that it's been conducive in reading more. (Environment is important, it's true!) The other key for me is to recognize that I'm not a "one book at one time" reader, that it helps when I have several books/articles on the go at once. It's just the way my brain works, so accept it and feed it thusly.

3. To take better care of my physical being. Yes, I'll admit, my running has truly lapsed of late, resulting in a bit of a weight gain. (Nothing to be overly concerned about, but I am carrying about 10 extra pounds that I truly do not need.) It hasn't helped that I've been dealing with a number of niggling injuries (the latest: a left ankle thing). But I've started running the stairs of the pedestrian overpass near my apartment (although I do take the long route to get there), which seems to be a good "quick hit" exercise. I'll add the long distance back into my running once I feel my various injuries aren't going to be a set back. The other part of the tending to my physical being is about ... well, I'll be coy for the time being. But tonight isn't the night to examine that. (Hey, I have a whole year to write on the blog - I need topics for the next 12 months, after all, so not everything needs to be explored this evening.)

4. "To thine own self be true." This is the big one for the year, even more important than the discipline goal. I will better explain this in a future post. It doesn't feel like a night to delve too deeply. Patience.

This is just a start. More to come!

Reading: Wolf Hall, the Sunday NYT, the Jan. 2 issue of the New Yorker
Listening: McCoy Tyner, Charles Mingus, some (mostly crappy) acoustical playlist on Spotify
Watching/Watched: Second season of Breaking Bad, The Bridge on the River Kwai, Rogue One, the Raptors west coast swing

I'm coming back

I've been very much a reluctant blogger, at least over the past few years. I was an early adopter - way back in the early 2000s, in fact! - but then writing for public consumption (outside of the writing that actually paid) lost its lustre. Maybe I didn't have much to say, or that I felt increasingly uncomfortable about "putting myself out there," but it was really more about lacking the time and energy (more of the latter than the former) owing to a full-time job and ... well, life. But starting next year, due to a very fortunate work situation (paid research leave!), I'm going to have more time, and hopefully the energy, to actually be more circumspect. Thus, it's probably a good time to revive the Procrastination Nation. Truthfully, I feel I need the writing routine - it will be a healthy way to start my days, or to inject some thought into a day when I feel blah and unmotivated. Re-reading my blog, I sometimes think I was a more interesting person when I spent the time ruminating and writing on this thing. Although some might say I've never been all that interesting at all, which is a fair assessment! But I will muddle along.

Dipping a toe in my thoughts

I undertook an interesting exercise this week, mostly by happenstance: I reread some of my old blog posts. It was actually revelatory. Not because I think my writing was brilliant or my insights particularly incisive, but it reminded me of how much I enjoyed maintaining a blog. Perhaps the best insight it provided, however, was that I seemed to a far-more interesting person when I was posting entries! Which of course got me wondering: did I seem more interesting because I was able to pull out the best parts of my life when I wrote them down, or was I, flat out, just more interesting at one time? It's an important question, and it makes me examine some of the evidence:

- I was reading more books back then, not to mention I was more thoughtful about what I was reading
- I seemed to be going out with my friends more often
- I listened to more music and (seemingly) saw more films.

Ok, maybe that's not entirely persuasive! But it did bring a general feeling to mind that I've become a little staid and predictable. I miss the "rawness" that I enjoyed (albeit not all the time!) back then. I think I need to bring that back. Stay tuned.

Transformations

After waiting almost two hours past the three-hour window I was given for the delivery of my new loveseat (they said 11-2, and it arrived close to 4), the first piece of significant new furniture I've bought in many years finally arrived yesterday. (It must be a weekend of lateness: the people who were picking up the Ikea couch I was giving away showed up over an hour late. But I didn't mind too much since my main goal was to get the thing out of the apartment before the new loveseat made its appearance. They seemed happy about it overall - the teenage who was going to make use of it was excited about putting it in his bedroom, so everybody was pleased.) I'm very pleased overall with the couch - it looks smashing in my living room! I didn't get to test it for a nap, but surely in due time... For the curious, here's a photo.

Also for the curious, it came with the accent pillows. It's slightly bigger than my previous couch/loveseat, but the good news is that I didn't have to move the three photos on the wall above - they're pretty much still centred. I did have to shift the tv a mite, but that was easy enough. I'm considering buying a new rug, and I still have my sights set on a new reading chair, but this couch is a good start.

Apartment transformation continues!