Watch this space...

It's been a long time since I last posted - since my last research leave, in fact. So it seems like a good time, now that I'm again on a leave, to begin posting again. I'm still sort-of in holiday vacation mode and not in the proper headspace to write something either interesting or intelligent - my goal of course is to achieve both at the same time! - so basically I'm putting a bookmark in place. Please return!

All good things must eventually end

So it's my final full day in Paris. When I arrived exactly a month ago, I thought to myself, "Wow, a whole month in Paris!" And of course now that I leave tomorrow, my thoughts are more along the lines of, "Wow, this whole month has felt like a blur." Not entirely, of course, but it's amazing how quick and fast four weeks can go. It's been a great trip, for sure, although let's face it: I didn't get as much work done as I hoped or envisioned, although I also probably shouldn't be all that surprised about that either. I'm in Paris, after all, where distractions are around every historical corner of the city. While I'm going to miss being here, I also feel ready to come home. It's time - especially because the upcoming month will be crunch time to finish the work I need to complete (my deadline is essentially five weeks away, although there are other looming deadlines after that). Did I get to do all things I wanted to while I was here? Mostly, although there was no trip to the Louvre. But there was the Musee d'Orsay, which I still think is one of the finest in the world. And Centre Pompidou, both for the permanent collections (which I had never before visited) and the fantastic David Hockney exhibition. A trip out to Versailles to visit the gardens. And, most of all, just a lot of walking about, which is always my favourite travel activity. Add to that some good meals and good wine, and it all points to a well-spent month away.

Dreams

So a strange (although that's probably not the precise word) development here during my first week in Paris. (Because of some mix up and communication issues, I'm still at the first apartment and cat sitting; I'm off to the other flat later this afternoon though where I can set up shop for three full weeks. It will be nice to unpack my clothes fully, to stock the cupboards with food and wine, and basically set up "home" for my remaining stay. It feel like it's already moving too fast!) I've mostly been sleeping well, but I've been having some of the craziest dreams - and about a couple of different women that I haven't thought of for years, and ones that I've had crushes on in the past. One of them is someone I've seen a couple of times over the last few weeks at two different events - she's not someone I technically "know" as I've never had a conversation with her, and she wouldn't know me from Adam, but she's someone I "know of." We travel in similar circles, basically.

Can there be a simple explanation for this? I don't have an answer. Maybe it's tied to the fact I'm spending a lot of time alone right now, and I crave some (mainly female) companionship? Does it have anything to do with the Bordeaux I'm drinking, or the fresh baguettes I'm gobbling up? I'm not complaining about this development, of course. It's just interesting to note, and something I'm going to pay attention to. (I don't usually chronicle my dreams, which means I usually forget them fully a few hours after I awake.)

Otherwise the first week has been a good one. I've got some work done, I've done some running (along the Seine no less), I've had some good food and wine, I cycled around the city this past weekend. In some ways I still feeling I'm settling in to a pace - hopefully by the time I do fully settle in, it won't be time to leave!

En Paris

Bonjour! Once again, I'll resist the temptation to apologize for not being a more dedicated blogger and keeping my (albeit very few) followers up to speed on my thoughts (such as they are) and movements. But I do have one major update on the latter: I'm in Paris, and for the month. It's something I had been thinking about since last year, when my research leave got the official nod from administration. Why Paris? Well, the short answer is "why not?" Truthfully - and I know this is going to probably sound ridiculous and privileged, especially given that I have an entire year where I don't have to drag my ass to work every morning - I feel this trip is a bit of a necessity for me. I was beginning to get into something of a rut and becoming "stale" with both work and life in general. I needed some disruption to my routine, and being in Paris by myself for the month will surely provide such disruption.

That said, I still plan on following a basic routine over the next four weeks. (Well, less so this week as I officially took it as a vacation week.) I'm hoping to research and write in the mornings over coffee and croissants at the flat, go for a jog in the early afternoon, and then the rest of the day will be for myself. I can deviate somewhat from that rigid schedule if need be, but that's going to be the general pattern. Thankfully, with deadlines looming, it will provide the necessary motivation to do my work (deadline panic is good for that) - and hopefully being in Paris will provide the proper stimulus to allow the writing to flourish. Wishful thinking? Let's hope not!

Anyway I do hope to be a more productive writer on this site over the coming weeks. I'll probably need the company, after all!

Hello summer

You've wondered where I've been, I bet. Ok, maybe you haven't... But I'm still here, and very much content that I can work outside, on the back deck. It's a mite muggy, but there's a nice breeze that's acting in my favour. It's not a very productive morning in terms of the work I need to do, so instead I'm working on my "personal writing" projects, which at least makes me feel the day is not a total waste. And I've got a full afternoon of reading ahead of me. (I got my running out of the way this morning when I first dragged myself out of bed, so no need to exercise at lunchtime.)

It's been a good couple of months since I last checked in. There was some travel: a glorious trip out to the Pacific Northwest that began in Portland, took in the Oregon coast, and eventually up and around (and in!) Olympic State Park/Forest in Washington, before landing for a few days in Seattle. Much hiking was done, along with eating plenty of seafood and quaffing pints of beer and glasses of wine. I was feeling a bit "off" before the journey, especially with work, but the trip seemed to refocus me. That's not to say I've bee super-productive since my return, but I have managed to get myself back on track with my various projects. (And I need to remind myself: what a privilege it is to be able to take this leave from work!)

Anyway this is nothing more than providing a very quick update. I will be more diligent about posting through the summer, especially since I don't plan on doing any long-distance travels until the fall.

Yes, it's been a while

We're closing in on the end of April, and here I am, keeping up the pace I started in February of posting about once a month... I can't even offer up the excuse of it being an overly busy month, although it did have its dramatics. The big one, of course, was the death of my beloved cat. I knew the day would come when I'd have to say goodbye to her, but I found the grief rather overwhelming. I thought it was somewhat unseemly to be grieving so deeply for an animal, but it helped to remind myself that she's the only pet I've ever had, not to mention she was the one constant and consistent companion I've had for 19 years. That's quite a relationship! I'm still digesting her loss - there's still a "muscle memory" of her being around: waking up to her purring on the bed, the ritual of putting food in her dish when I arose, topping up her water during the day, hearing her (usually untrimmed) claws on the hardwood floor - but the passage of time truly does help. I've got a couple of photos of her as well, so her presence continues to loom. She will be missed! And looking at the one positive, this does free me up for additional travel this year during my leave. I've got my sights set on France in autumn - and, if I can possibly swing it, a trip to New Zealand and/or Australia to end the leave in January. But nothing is yet set in stone (or even set in wet sand).

Otherwise things continue apace. One of the goals I had set for myself when the leave started was to write and read much more. My success in both has been mixed. But I've started to read more in the mornings when I first wake up, particularly short stories. (It's an idea I stole from another blogger I was in touch with years ago.) It's a good way to start the day, although another part of me thinks I should be writing first thing in the morning when my mind is still fresh. It's something I tried years ago when I freelanced, and advocated in the well-known book The Artist's Way. I used to refer to it as my "Morning Papers" - I just pulled the book and she calls it "Morning Pages." Close enough. (Now that I have the book out from my shelves, I might flip through it and remind myself of some of the other exercises it suggests.) And while I'm not writing very much on this blog, I have pulled out a paper journal to jot some notes, thoughts and other miscellany. (I've even dabbled in some poetry, but it's too clumsy to share - maybe "crap" is a better word here.) There are a number of writing projects I want to initiate, but they require ... well, some serious self-exploration. Just thinking about some of these projects makes me feel nervous! (In the end, they really just involve stupid self-indulgent, self-absorption garbage that surely interests only me.)

Do any of these projects have to do with my research project? Well, perhaps, but of course only peripherally. But again, I need to remind myself that the leave is also a sabbatical from regular work shit (which was becoming kind-of shitty, to tell you the truth), and if I can indulge in some self examination away from the day-to-day travails, then it will result in a happier and content me when I do finally go back into the drudgery of everyday routine. For now, I'll cut myself some slack with the indulgence.

Second month, in the books

Where did March go? Oh yeah, I was away for almost two weeks of it. And last week, my first week back, seemed like a bit of a wasted one given that I had a difficult time getting my head back into my work. I'm trying to cut myself some slack on my inactivities - not to mention I had a couple of other pressing personal issues to deal with (including a sad prognosis for my wonderful feline companion - the vet doesn't think her prospects are so good, although I'm hopeful that I'll manage to keep her alive through the summer). But a new week and a new month brings new energy, so let's use that to my advantage. It's also partly about finding a routine again: writing some in the morning, perhaps doing some reading, etc. I need to get my brain "warmed up" is usually the way I describe it.

And with that, I'm off to get some work done.